| I have struggled since the beginning of the year. I can’t quite put my finger on why. I guess the unsettling nature of the world we live in now is revealing deep soul cares in me that need to be worked through. Covid hit our family in January, with my middle son contracting it, which cut our summer holiday short as we had to abide by the government isolation rules for close contacts. I struggled with the intense stress of dealing with the Ministry of Health in numerous daily phone calls. It took its toll and I was taken to hospital in an ambulance for chest pain. I am ok, it was just precautionary. My son has recovered extremely well, it was only a mild couple of days flu-like illness, and none of us tested positive through the whole experience. Praise God. Have you struggled at the beginning of 2022? I am not a perfect Instagram influencer to follow. I don’t have it all together, all of the time. I am just a fellow follower of Jesus who is wrestling with the current climate. I live in the nitty gritty of work, family, 2 years of covid19 restrictions and the weather. (Yes the weather! we are experiencing Cyclone Dovi right now. I am sitting in my conservatory watching and trees bending in 150km wind. The noise is intense! ) Even though I have been a believer for 48 years (since I was 4 years old), there are times when life seems a struggle and it is hard to pray, praise and remain hopeful. How about you? It doesn’t help that right now I am studying the book of Job with a group of online friends. I am wrestling with God on a couple of things, just like Jacob did. How could God ‘allow’ the accuser to mess with Job so much that he is left with nothing but his wife and a body in pain and agony? Where is the God of love? Where is the Jesus of mercy and kindness? Where is the comforting Spirit? I am not settling for the pat answer that “God is sovereign”. I want to know God’s heart in the situation. I want to know that God is alive and working right now. I want to be firmly convinced on his love for me. How about you? How are you going with God and life? |
| I shared in my January 1st article, about stepping over the threshold into a new year of unsettling questions and ponderings. If you didn’t get to read that article you can do so here. I feel the threshold has led me down a stormy path of unknowns. Where the winds blow and the waves crash, weathering down the rocks and leaving behind, I hope and pray, sands of truth. I guess, the wrestling is allowing God to draw me into the crevice of the rock where the storm is not so severe, where the waves can’t reach. The wind is still roaring but there is comfort in my little hidey-hole. Let’s hide in His shadow |
Thank you Rachel for putting words to the feelings of all that 2022 is throwing at us. I love the thought of hiding in His shadow in amongst the unknown and uncertainty.